I'm used to being called a goody-goody. It's usually because I won't go along with some scheme involving complete and reckless drunken-ness. Though, in my past, I have been known to over indulge in that area too. I'm often described as uptight, no fun, an old woman, a party pooper, etc etc. You get the idea.
I just don't see what's so wrong with doing what is RIGHT. I can't handle the pummeling of my conscious. Since becoming a christian, this has been heightened in my personality even more. Though, I often keep my opinions to myself, because people are usually offended (highly) when you question their actions, words, or attitudes, Even if it is inappropriate or destructive. Especially if they don't believe in God in the first place. Or people choose to stop talking to me and instead just talk ABOUT me.
But what about a brother or sister in Christ? One who openly admits to "following" the Lord. What then? Well you'd think it'd be easier but it's not. Trust me the human reaction of defensiveness is still there, christian or not. I don't believe in saying hurtful things "in christian love", or spilling someone else's guts as a "prayer request". So it weighs on my mind and I ponder whether or not I should confront them.
Now some may say, it isn't your life Tina butt out, or it's not hurting you so why bother.
But aren't we all of the family? The Body of Christ?
"Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."-Hebrews 3:12
"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather, expose them". -Ephesians 5:11
"So watch yourselves, if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him." -Luke 17:2-4
Yeah easier said than done....even to a fellow brother or sister. But I am commanded by Christ, to reach out ..snatch them from the fire-Jude 23. For He also says, "Whatever you did not do for the least of these, you did not do for me"-Matt 25:45.
So it looks like I must humble myself once again. Pray earnestly for the right words, wait for God's timing, and their open hearts.
About Me
- Tina
- Astoria, IL, United States
- I am a wife to a wonderful husband and mother of 3 beautiful and talented children. I am new to small town life. I am just trying to figure things out day by day and learning to love the Lord with all my heart.
4 comments:
Oh shit, somehow I feel I did something again. LOL, Tina, darnit,stop putting these posts that make me feel like I have done wrong to you when I know I haven't seen ya or talked to ya. Yeah, ok, I drink and I don't necessarily "believe" and I may (every once in a super great long time while) hassle you about letting loose and having a drink, but I NEVER push. I hate that.There have been too many times I have been "pushed" into drinking (yeah I know takes alot, oouuch, twist my arm, but still) that I haven't wanted too. Situations such as I am the DD or I just don't want to. Its super hard. We all know from experience, to be the sober one in the group sucks and BIG TIME. You don't get the stupid drunkin jokes, you don't feel "a part of the group" and yadayada. But, I also have a LARGE number of friends that don't drink. Mainly Paris. I asked her just recently, how she dealt with all the nonesense of being DD all the time and people being drunkin idiots while she is sober and she told me (best explanation I have EVER heard)
"Hey, some people get a kick out of drinking, they have fun and may get stupid, but I know its not them entirely. I can have fun with them and can ignore the stupid crap, and then get them home so I know they don't hurt themselves or others without it bothering me. I just know that the next day,no matter what hurtful things may have been said or what stupid shit has been done, they will come too and realize they were idiots, or I point it out if they hurt my feelings, and they apologize. I know its not them, its the booze, but shit, what am I to do, I can't stop it all on my own, I just do what is in my power to squash what I can."
Tina, I know we have both dealt with alot of drunk and ignorant people in our lives. But just remember, you don't have to totally SHUN it, just do what you can. Yes, ok, I drink, ALOT. I admit it. Am I an Alcoholic, hmm, I don't think so yet, because I know I don't depend on my beer. Do I like it, HELL YES. But if I go without, it doesn't phase me. It doesn't make it any better that my kids know that the more beer you bring mom, the nicer she is, but I think all kids get that when their parents drink. Heck, we did. But that goes to show that your a good parent to begin with and are all about rules and manners and minding mom, just once I get a few beers in and they ask if someone can spend the night or something, I'm finally like ok, whatever, don't care. Cause otherwise I am so uptight about noise and what they're doing and heaven forbid makeovers. I don't think like that after a couple, I loosing up and say hey, ok, they are not hurting anyone, its ok. Product of my childhood with the strictness, as much as I fight it I can't.
WOW, I am ramballing on and on. SO, back to your post. Tina, I don't see anything "EVIL" about drinking. Its just keeping it under control that is the part. And yes, I know, that is super hard for many and most of the reasoning behind your dislike for it. Doing what is RIGHT doesn't always mean abstaining from EVERYTHING. Keeping things to a minimum and under control even as a "child of Christ" you can do this. I know plenty that do and still are the best people in the world. You love your religion and I won't knock it, but just know, that you can still LIVE life and have fun enjoying what you see as "sins" as long as its kept under control and you still stay who you are to begin with.
Keep with your faith, keep with your standards, and keep your belief and pray if you do. Thats what matters.
I know you will totally disagree with me, but hey, what else are sisters for. I love you with all my heart and hope you find your contentment and happiness where ever you look to find it.
Wow Jenny. Good post. Really I mean it. But before I go any further. This had nothing to do with you...honest. Or drinking really, that was just an example.
BUT..I need to explain how feel about the drinking thing. I don't think drinking is a sin. Not by a long shot. I like to have a drink now and then. There is nothing evil about having a cocktail or two. I have drank, yes even as a christian, and know lots of other christians that do. I do believe however there is a difference between drinking and drunken-ness. Big difference. The bible has LOTS to say about being drunk. But it's not even that. Drunk people have hurt me, and my family. Are they EVIL? Not at all. Are they chained to something that Satan can use to weaken and destroy? Absolutely. I have hurt many people being drunk. If I were to look at all the hurtful things in my life (both caused by others and casued by myself) over drinking is usually involved. And it's not just my family, LOTS of people's marriages, families, jobs, etc have been destroyed by the power of alcohol. Some people can handle having a few cocktails, or a bottle of wine with dinner. Even a few beers at a bbq, or a game. There is nothing wrong with that!! I choose not to drink (on most occassions) so I am not a stumbling block for my husband, or others, that can not just have A beer, or A margarita. It's unfair and cruel for me to lift a drink in front of my husband who shouldn't drink. It is a struggle for me sometimes not to get judgemental or irritated with those that drink too much. It is because I love them and care about them. But I have to continually remind myself that, it is their choice, and if they DO indeed have a drinking "problem", they can't see the forest for the trees. It's a disease. It is a product of pain, hurt and denial. I get that. I can't make them understand. I have to pray for them, and love them no matter what. Does it mean I have to like it? Does it mean I have to be around it? No, and I choose not to. I also have to remember that my children (Kyle especially) have the cards stacked against them. On both sides of his family the inability to control alcohol intake is very very high. Alcoholism goes waaay back, in both our families. I need to try and set an example to him, and protect him. There is no way I want my son to have the same self induced pain in his life, if I can help it. Kyle may be young, but he KNOWS that drunken-ness has affected our family. HE is too young to understand that not all drinking is bad, but I try to explain, and if he decides he doesn't want to drink EVER, that's ok by me too. I really want you to understand that I am not against drinking or people who choose to drink! Really, I am not. Like I said, I enjoy a cocktail now and again.
So though I am glad we had this "conversation"(I know it's been a contention point between us), I also want you to know that you are off the hook. This wasn't about anything that you have done, said, or drank!! I promise.
Thanks for sharing your feelings with me, and I love you too sis.
Hey Girls....
I totally did not take the post like Jenny did, I took it as you need to say something to someone and want to do it with God in your heart and words. However, I do have to chime in on the drinking....since my husband has the same issue, I have all the same worries about my children and often struggle being around people who are drunk just because of what I have gone through in the past. I don't think a few drinks is "bad" but I do find myself struggling sometimes not to be upset by people who drink too much just because I have seen so much destruction. It is hard to stop the hurt feelings from coming back once you have lived through terrible times due to alcohol. I have come a long way though in my recovery from the hurt. Life is so hard sometimes!
Have a great day girls!!
Denise
Jenny-something you wrote has stuck with me all day. You wrote, "I don't necessarily 'believe',". What does that mean? Do you believe? Do you believe something different that I do? Do you not believe anything at all? Do you believe in "god" but not that Jesus was our saviour? I guess I am just looking for you to clarify that. So we can have a discussion, if you want, about it on here. Not everyone who reads this blog may be a christian. I am not opposed to opening it up for others to contribute. You can email me if you'd rather, but I think it's a good topic of discussion.
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