Contentment

Why is it I have such a hard time being content?
Why do I always wish things were "better"?
Why do I wish I was different?

Why can't I just be content with who I am in Christ? Where He has me, and the plans he has for me?

Why am I continually affected by my circumstances? I am a child of God. I am in the palm of His hand and NO ONE can ever pluck me out of it. He says so. So..why can't I just be happy with that?

I just found some old friends on Facebook. One wants to come see me. Why do I start freaking out and back pedaling, worried about what she will think of where I live?

My checkbook is empty. Zero, Nada. Why can't I be thankful that I have a fridge full of food, and a man and boy who loves me in the other room?

This wanting to change myself and not being happy with myself is something I want to change. Change change change. I hate change. Though in this case it would be a good thing. I just wanna be me. Be happy. Laugh again. Be content.