Another odd prayer

Usually I start praying before I even open my eyes in the morning.
The unfortunate part is I usually doze in and out as I am praying and repeat a lot of things.
I try and start by just saying, "Thank you for another day."
But then I run my mind through my day, and pray about anything that comes to mind.

This morning was another "odd" prayer. Odd because it is different than the usual. Odd because it made me realize something about myself that I guess in some ways I try and avoid thinking about. Odd because...well, now I can't stop thinking about it.

I prayed to laugh more.

I can't remember when it happened. When I stopped laughing that is.
Maybe it was when I stopped making fun of other people out of hatefulness. Maybe, but I think it was before then. I really don't know for sure.

I feel like I have migrated over the years to looking at the cup half empty. To letting the worries of "life" crowd my thinking, and they crowded laughter right out the door.

My husband is one who can really make me laugh. When I let him.

I don't think it even has anything to do with being happy. Because, I am pretty happy in my life right now. It's like I forgot how to let go, and joke, and play, and laugh. It's almost as I am too tired to laugh.

Like, "Oh! I would totally laugh at that right now, if I wasn't so tired."

??? I know!! It's crazy, I can't explain it myself. Again, I am just thinking "out loud" here.

So odd as it may be. I think I am going to keep praying. And praying with confidence that God will answer me, and show me the way. The path to laughter...because this is one thing I don't want to wait until Heaven for. I want it now. So I am ready...to laugh for all of eternity.