Spice Girls Remix

Soooo tell me whacha want whatcha really really want...

An interesting post you say? Well I have finally gotten off my duff (actually FaceBook) and am going to try and write something for a change. Whether it's interesting or not..well, that just depends on how boring YOUR life is.

What did you wish to be when you were growing up? How about now? I was driving along thinking about this today. All the things I wanted to be different then and now.
I wished I was pretty.
I wished I were smarter.
I wished I was a pioneer girl,
and then I wanted to be Amish.
I wished I had big boobs.
I wished I was Puerto Rican. I was always envious of their dark skin and silky black hair.
I wished I was crafty and artsy.
I wished I was more popular.
I wished I could sing.
I wish I was a good decision maker.
I wish I was better off financially.
I wish I was a better mother and wife.
I wish I didn't stumble so much.
I wish I was thin again.
I wish I tried harder.

I have always wanted to be something else. Something other than I am/was or maybe ever will be. I did get smarter. I'm no Einstein, but I'm not dumb either. I did get big boobs, but I got a larger waistline to go with it. I will never be able to carry a tune. My point being, I can't ever remember wanting to be ME. There has to be some redeeming qualities or talents in here somewhere. I am a creation of The Lord our God after all, and last I checked, he doesn't make junk. But the more I thought about all this, I came to a startling conclusion. All my life I have tried to be something else whether for other people's approval or my own. In doing this, I realized, I don't even know who ME is anymore.

So that was my thoughtful prayer this morning. For God to help me discover who I really am. The real me. The one He created, and to show me what I was meant for. Maybe that will clear up some disillusionment I have with life. Maybe it will make it even more confusing. I am not sure. But I do know that I am hidden in here somewhere under all these layers of wishes.